Ah! A good ol’ fashioned Christmas Tree bonfire is afoot!

I’m not sure about you but in our family burning the Christmas tree is a big tradition. Though we usually do it sometime in the spring, once the snow has melted away. After the holidays my father would slowly collect all the Christmas Trees from various family members. Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Neighbors, etc and stow them away until one fine spring evening to be determined at a later date. When that evening arived there would be a big cookout at Dad’s place and everyone who “donated” a tree would come out for the show! After diner - and once the sun went down - a normal sized campfire would be started. Marshmallows were roasted, s’mores were ingested, and drinks were flowing freely up until it was time for the big moment! Once that moment arrived you knew it was about to get all sorts of wild!

One by one an old Christmas tree would be added to the campfire and ignite in a blaze of glory temporarily lighting up the entire neighborhood with its orange glow. If you have never put an old dried-up Christmas Tree on a bonfire, you surely don’t know what you are missing. When it catches fire (and it catches FAST) it bursts into flames about 6 times the size of the tree and makes a huge “woosh” as it gobbles up the oxygen. It crackles and pops and hisses like a bowl of Rice Crispies at Satan’s breakfast table. (I mean, I don’t know this for a fact, I just assume that if Satan was eating Rice Crispies they would crackle and pop in a very demonic way) It quickly flames out in a wonderful blaze of glory almost as soon as it starts. If you blink you might miss it – however, if you are anywhere within 100 yards of the fire you will certainly feel the heat! It is an astounding sight to behold.

And so it goes….one, by one, until all the Christmas Trees from the past yuletide season have been sacrificed to the ozone. It’s quite a party for sure!

Is this something your family does as well? When I’ve told my friends from outside of Vermont about this tradition, they seemed to look at me like I was nuts. Well, more nuts than usual. It got me thinking... is this more of a Northern Vermonter/Redneck kind of thing - or does it go deeper than that?

I did some research, and it appears that it is not entirely a Northern Vermont/redneck thing as some cultures actually have rituals built into their tree sacrifices. My family just likes to watch shit burn!

Apparently, many communities in the Netherlands pile their trees in a community blaze on the first Saturday after the sixth of January. You can see some pretty amazing videos of this on YouTube. Some cultures burn their trees on exactly the sixth of January and call it “The Epiphany” which celebrates the end of the Christmas season in celebration of the revelation of God in his Son in human form. So, you know, bonfire for Jesus?

In fact, it appears that a lot of churches do this as well, right in their parking lots, all across the country. They sing some hymns and read some scripture and then set the night sky on fire – all in the name of the lord. Some say that the delight that it brings the children to see a tree being cremated reminds them of the enthusiasm that one must have experienced upon hearing the news of the birth of God’s only son. I mean, I personally think that’s kind of a stretch...but if that’s your thing who am I to judge?

Some say to burn one’s dead Christmas Tree is a sacrifice to the dopamine God.

Some people load them up with fireworks and on New Year’s Eve they light it on fire at midnight to ring in the New Year. That is kind of bad ass. Just make sure you have a decent clearing to do that in. I assume that can get kind of unruly!

Other cultures, back in the day, would saw off circles of wood from the base of the tree, write what you wanted to let go of in the New Year on the circles and then toss them into the fire. I kind of like that idea actually. I may have to try that next year….

Anyways, it seems many families and cultures have been torching Christmas Trees for years. In fact, that is how I got the idea for this cartoon. Sitting in my upstairs studio I looked across the street one Saturday afternoon to see my neighbor and his family sacrificing their Christmas tree over cups of hot coca in their yard. (I assume it was hot coca though it could have been anything for all I know) As I watched this familiar activity, I thought fondly back to the Pronto Family Tree Roasts and then...I started to feel bad for the Christmas Tree. It gave us so much beauty and joy over the past few weeks and this is how we repay it? Cruel.

That’s today’s cartoon fellow pyromaniacs. We will see you on Wednesday with the next one. Stay safe out there and happy sacrificing!

Cheers,

~tod