Every. Single. Time.

Seriously, you mean to tell me that this is the best we can do? Human kind has made some pretty amazing advancements during our time on this planet. The wheel, agriculture, computers, the internet - to name a few. Hell, we even landed on the moon! (I know for some people this is a topic of debate -I assure you - this is not debatable. It happened)

That being said, if we can figure out a way to leave the solar system and come back intact, surely we can figure out a way to make a windshield wiper system that has the right configuration of pressure points so that our windshield wipers no longer leave a streak precisely in the field of view of the driver?

How infuriating is that? It doesn’t even matter what kind of wipers you purchase. Expensive. Cheap. Mid level. They all suck! The worst part is, they literally have one purpose. It’s not like they are supposed to wipe your windshield clean and navigate you through a 3 point turn. They don’t also work as an antenna for the radio or even help locate your car in a parking garage. The only function they are expected to perform is to clear your windshield of precipitation, and they can’t even do that right!

If windshield wipers were a lazy teenager, they perform as if cleaning your room was just shoving all the trash underneath the bed so it can no longer be seen. The room is cleaner to an extent, but in reality it is not clean at all.

Anyways…

I just paid $70 dollars for one wiper blade! That’s right, just the one blade, for the drivers side. If I bought them both it would have been in the $100 range and I figured that since the passenger is not the one doing the driving, that section of the windshield can remain a little cruddy. Unfortunately for me, the passenger side of the car remains to be the only part of the windshield that is always free of obstruction. What kind of cruel joke is this anyways?

We currently live in an age where some cars can drive themselves, yet we can’t invent a wiper blade that can leave a streak free performance? Even when they are brand spankin’ new? Thank god cars are starting to drive themselves since no one can see out of their windshields! Come to think of it, perhaps this is why there are so many bad drivers on the roads? It’s not that they are distracted or careless drivers, it’s that they can not see anything in the first place. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of yelling “watch out asshole!” - try yelling “clean your windshield!” Who knows, they may thank you?

Well, that is today’s cartoon folks. It’s time for me to head out on the highway to my office for the day. Fortunately the sky is clear and I will have no need to use my brand new sub par $70 wiper system today. Happy driving folks! See you Sunday with the next cartoon!

Cheers,

~tod